at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
