That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
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