But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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