I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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