wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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