Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize