brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
