Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
