I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
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