my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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