So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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