His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
they call him Oral-B. enough said
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
