If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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