I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i just google imaged poop.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
