I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
