Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
You can't just leave with hair like that
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Everyone says I win the strip club
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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