never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
