i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
