Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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