At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
