that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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