But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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