We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
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