I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
