The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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