Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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