I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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