He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
