Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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