i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
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