none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
