what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
