I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
The Olympian is in my bed
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
