Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
