Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
