i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
