He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
