This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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