Fuck appropriateness.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
