do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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