her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
sex in a hospital.. check
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
