where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
