Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
