I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
