it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
