I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
