Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
