I feel great
I just peed on a car
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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