I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Never underestimate the power of titties
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