I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
