I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
