the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
