Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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