I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Randomize
