so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
