can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
