I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
The uberlube is also flammable
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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