I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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