so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize