You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
