i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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