Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
