you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
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