i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
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